Hello, and welcome to another episode of the cosmicgirlie cello chronicles podcast. I am your host, Jay Émme. It is lovely to be with you today. I'm sitting by my my patio doors in my house today, and it is beautiful sunshine, and it is making me very happy because it makes me think, yay. And I'm gonna jinx this by saying this.

Spring and or summer is at least on the way. Really sorry to any of those of you who have just hung out your washing and are now listening to this episode. Sorry, not sorry. Anyway, today, diving straight in. Today, I'd like to talk about the things that I really, really, really wish I knew before I become a professional cellist or even the things I wish I had known before becoming a cellist at all full stop.

Like, if I could redo my time again, I mean, would I would I change my mind? Probably not. Would I still do the same thing? Probably, yes. But I would I would have I would have some some thoughts on the following.

So do you know what? The first the first thing that I really, really wish I'd known before becoming a professional cellist is the stupid comments and the jokes. The stupid comments and the jokes that are just not funny, including, but not limited to, oh, don't you wish he'd played? No. No.

No. I do not. No. I have no interest in the piccolo. No.

I do not wish I played the violin. No. And, actually, speaking of so I do play violin anyway. I had to learn violin for various reasons through, music college. But even with the violin, when people look at my cello and go, oh, how do you get that under your chin then?

Dude, do you really think you're the first I just said dude, because it's almost always guys. I'm really sorry, but it's almost always guys who come up with that one. Do do you really think god. I've gone straight into a rant. Do you really think you're the first person to have cracked that not joke?

No. No. You're not. No. Not even slightly.

And then my favourite, which I know has actually gotten several musicians into trouble going through airports and security checks. Questions like, oh, what's in your case? Is it a machine gun? Really? Really?

This is this is not The Sopranos. This is this is not The Godfather. This is this is me trying to get through Birmingham Airport, Birmingham International without getting in trouble. Dude, stop talking. Just stop.

And by the way, how do I get it under my neck? I don't, but I'd love to demonstrate getting it under yours. Let just just let me pull the spike out one second. Can't speak vicious. Yeah.

I would yeah. First and foremost, it's the stupid comments. They just just stress me out. Just really stress me out just so much. But I think it's just because it's relentless, and it's just everywhere you go, there's always someone.

And if I'm walking around so if you ever see me or if you've ever like on my socials or if you've ever seen me in person you will know that Sid Sid is in a black Bam case that goes on my back, and Melissa is in a red store case that also goes on my back, so they carry like backpacks. I'm walking along, and you could see you could see people looking at me funny because it's like they can see the top of the cello sticking out the back, and then just as they get close enough, they go, oh, I thought that was a balloon. No. No. It's not a balloon rigidly attached to the back of my head.

No. No. It's a cello. Oh boy and actually thinking about the size of the cello as well honestly I could do this this this I could do all day this podcast I'm I'm going to keep this under fifteen minutes I'm determined this podcast I could do all day so even if I've got my cello on my back and people can see that I'm, you know, I'm unable to squeeze through tight spaces and turning sideways is going to be a problem. And that, you know, I've moved, I've dodged around, and they they they know the cello is on my back.

And then they'll just, like if I'm walking towards them on a pavement, they'll just walk at me or give me less room to walk past. Like, what bruh, what do you want me to do? Should I should I just, like, take it off my back and shrink it down and then squeeze past? What? Tell me, please.

Please explain. Help me out here because I am so confused. Okay. To be fair, I think it's probably just as well I got that one out the way first. The stupid comments and the stupid behaviour because, honestly, I could just go on all day, but I'm not going to.

I promise I won't. But it really drives me up the wall. So it's not funny. After forty odd years, it's just not funny. It's still just not funny.

I appreciate the super awesome comments. Oh, amazing. You're a musician. Oh, yay. Go, arts.

Oh, woo hoo. Live cellist. Yay. As opposed to dead cellist. Live performance, cellist.

Woo hoo. Let's go or whatever. Live cellist? Yeah. I love I love stuff like that.

I do love the lovely comments, but I just think the jokes, they're just so old, and forty years of the same jokes like if you've had those jokes since you were six and especially being especially undiagnosed autistic where you just don't understand people's sense of humour it doesn't make it any easier. Anyway, so the next thing I think which still makes me a little bit sad today having just chopped them all off again is having not being allowed to have long nails, Man, I look at some of these beautiful nails on people. I'm like, oh my god. Their nails are so pretty, and look how long and well kept they are, and they're tidy and pretty nail polish. And then I look at mine, which look like they've been annoyed at by rats because I'm constantly picking at them to keep them short because it's like, oh, I've forgotten to cut my nails again, or I've forgotten to look after my nails again.

And now they're too long, and now I'm performing, and now I need to hack them down, and it's just terrible, and I do every so often I do put like, I might even do this today, do you know I might even do this today, I might even put like a clear nail polish and then maybe a colour, but more often than not, I just don't bother because I know that I'm gonna end up hacking at my nails because I've let them grow too long, and I've forgotten to trim them, or I'm doing something that's brutal in thumb position, and I need my nails to be shorter than my nail bed. Oh, god. Pain. And, actually, I mean, don't you just love the way these segue? Next up, oh my god, the the initial pain.

Big wow. Thumb position. Right? So this is where you don't just use your your mega you may your mega digits? You may mega digits.

Wow. Your main digits, so, like, your first, your middle, your ring, and your pinky fingers. This is where you get your thumb involved as well. So you kind of you're up the fingerboard and, you know, you're up in the gods making the most highest noises that you can possibly make, and you have to get your thumb involved. But that means you have to roll your fingers, like, even further over onto their fingertip, which means the nail needs to be so short.

It's like you're constantly hacking down into the nail bed. So just the world's shortest nails. I mean, to be honest, sometimes I'm like, are there cellist out there who have just said, you're not screw it. I don't need nails, which is terrifying and also slightly sickening, but I do wonder I do wonder is there a cellist out there who thought screw it. I don't need nails.

There's just no point at this stage. That's grim. I don't wanna think about that anymore, but, yeah, I miss not that I can miss, but I love the idea of having longer nails. That would be so pretty. So, so, so pretty.

Something else I wish I had known before becoming a professional cellist I have a mobile upper body gym, like I my arms and shoulders and torso are so toned from all the walking that I did as a kid with my cello, so, like, I would carry all my school books and then all my music books and my cello to and from school, and that was probably about that walk was probably about a mile and a half, which I would do every day and did every day, school days for, like, four years. And consequently my upper body is so toned it's ridiculous, and then of course, cellist you're supposed to sit upright, you know, with your back supported, like straight back and all the rest of it, so you don't get yourself back ache, which means my core is really super toned as well. I don't think I'd have had I don't think I'd have had as solid pregnancies as I did have. I had two I had two eleven pound babies sixteen months apart, and I don't think my core would have been able to handle it had I not been a chess kind of to this day I think thanks cellos because I really do believe you helped me out there honestly I don't understand what was going on everybody but so yeah Insta gym.

People ask me, do you go to the gym? No. The only time I've been to the gym is for about a year when I was going to the gym to hula hoop. I had just quit cello. That's another podcast that'll be coming up soon.

I had just quit cello, and was like, well, I need to stay in shape somehow, but I didn't really like going to the gym. So I was like, I love hula hooping. Let me hula hoop, and that's how I stayed fit. But, yeah, mobile gym, man. Mobile gyms.

Awesome. Do you know what? There's everyone thinks when it comes to things that they wish they'd known before x, y, zed, they always think it's negative stuff. I have positive things as well, like, as well as having as well as having a mobile gym. I really love the travel opportunities and, you know, the meetings with amazing people and the communities that I get to be involved in like some of them are absolutely incredible the people are amazing and I love their visions and the ideas that they have for creativity within music it's just so cool to see it happening I have thanks to the circles I've been moving in lately, I now have some new ideas coming to fruition, which I think I've mentioned in another episode, but I'm really excited about those, and that's happening because of the people that I've gotten to meet through playing my cello and then traveling up and down the country and around the world, like, those opportunities have come to me as a result of being a professional cellist.

Traveling with orchestras and then traveling for solo gigs, like orchestra work has taken me around most of Europe, and some places in The Caribbean, and then and, America and Canada, and then the solo work has taken me to all around The UK and to America again, and it's just it's just so cool to have things like that under my belt, which I don't know. I mean I may have found a way through another profession, I don't know. Actually, I suppose I did for a little while when I was a photographer, but not as satisfying perhaps or as rewarding as being a cellist. So, yeah, the opportunities for seeing the world and meeting people and experiencing different cultures is just like, wow. Absolutely incredible.

But what's really interesting is off the back of that one, something else I wish I'd known before becoming pro is managing and coping with the starving artist mindset, which is which was my own for a while. I don't really have it so much anymore. I very much know if I if this particular gig is going to cost me, then the answer's no. But it is really hard because the arts, you know, it's a struggling it's a struggling industry in some aspects, but not all, and it is getting yourself into the right part of the industry to not be struggling, and it is recognising that there are so many musicians out there, so many artists, music artists, who are making tons of money so much money and it's frustrating when another musician comes along because they're stuck in starving artist mindset they're like oh there's no money in music it's like there is You just gotta go find it. You just gotta go to the place where the money is at.

It might not be where you are at, or the money is there. It's just not enough for you in any given moment. Man, that's a whole episode. Oh, let me I'm gonna make a note of that one. That is a whole episode.

So, yeah, starving artist mindset. Having moved out of my own, now I have to manage other people's because it's it feels inflicted on me to say, well, here is a gig. We need you to perform for six hours after all of the practice you've done at home and cover your insurance and cover your travel blah blah blah, and it's a hundred and £50. And those people might say, hundred £50? That's a bargain.

That's loads of money. And it's like, well, no. It's not. Because once I've done all the stuff behind the scenes and then turned up actually I'm paying out I'm paying to be there it's me paying the money to be there so that's been really really hard oh do you know what last thing I wish I'd known before specifically becoming professional cellist is people's love of Elgar is the assumption that I can use and abuse Elgar to my heart's content I can walk into a room and if I need people to like if it's a wedding gig whatever or a private gig I can silence a room by playing the first couple of bars of Elgar cello concerto I don't need to know the rest I don't need be able to play the rest I can play the first few bars and everyone's like and it's like cool okay now I can play it's really cool it's terrible but it's really cool it's using and abusing Elgar but I'm not sorry because I'm not a fan of Elgar cello concerto but that's just me and that's just fine we talked about this in an earlier episode it's fine It's fine.

Okay? It's fine. But, yeah, people thought of Elgar and the assumption that I also love Elgar because I play the cello. No. That is not how this works.

Anyway, I said I was gonna keep this under fifteen minutes, and I must started ranting. I would love to know if you are an artist, if you are a creative of any kind, what do you wish you had known, good or bad, what do you wish you had known before you started in your profession, in your career, in your creativity? What do you wish you had known? I would love to know. Drop me a message or leave something in the comments, and I'd love to get a conversation going, because honestly, I love knowing where other people are at.

It's really, really cool. If you have enjoyed today's episode, thank you so much. If you haven't enjoyed it, I'm really sorry, but kind of not. Sorry. Maybe you'll enjoy the next one.

I don't know. But but if you've enjoyed today's episode thank you so much please do leave a comment that would be amazing if you've really enjoyed it give me a subscribe or a follow wherever you're listening, whether that's on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon, Apple podcasts, I'm gonna try and upload this to other platforms as well I need to jump on that, but I really really appreciate the support it's been so lovely having some messages from you guys just it's so great it really really makes my day so thank you so much, and I will see you on the next episode have a great day bye.