This week, I learned about late invoice payments, statutory interest, and recovery compensation. Sending out an email to a business and demanding payment, made me feel sick, ngl. I think because I’ve spent so many years being nice, considerate, and patient, but also not wanting to get myself a bad rep and then not booking future gigs.

Something I installed in my business, waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy back when I first started as a wedding photographer, was a CRM. At the time (maybe around 2010), I had NO IDEA how useful this piece of software was going to be.

But y’know, I also had undiagnosed ADHD, and was just starting out attempting to run my own proper business for the first time, so, I installed it and then didn’t really do anything with it for a year.

But then work picked up, I was losing track of everything, and so I went back to the CRM.

I started keeping track of clients, and then I started creating legit invoices, then I created email templates, and then I used it to track EVERYTHING. Took me about 3 years to have any clue about it, but it was helpful, especially around Tax Return season.

Invoicing and Wedding Agreements (contracts) were the big thing. I’d generate them, ping them over, and know that everything was sorted. Wicked, no further questions.

The only time I had a legal issue, was a couple who approached me about 4 years after their wedding, asking for another copy of their digital files. I’d updated my contract previously to say something like “I only hold the files for 3 years” or something like that, and there’s a fee for recovery, etc etc. But the couple pointed out that they were still on the old contract, and I should have their photos.

I apologised; I had their photos, and sent them over. Of course.

I freaked out a bit, because I knew they were both lawyers, and could probably have dragged my ass into the ground and beyond, had they chosen to do so. But, I’d backed myself up securely too, so it was fine.

Fast forward about 15 years, a change of business, that CRM is working hard, and managing everything I need to manage.

I can see how much money I have(n’t) made, I can see allk the things I (shouldn’t) have bought and paid for, and I know all the info about client bookings.

All of the shit is now AU. TO. MA. TED.

Because my AuDHD perimenopausal ass does not have the time OR patience to be doing things in a freaking google spreadsheet.

Somewhere along the way, gut instincts and COMMON SENSE told me to pay attention to the smallest of details, like dates on invoices. I also realised that it would make sense to have some sort of official, legal, back-up body, because we all know artists often get treated like shit when it comes to money. (Thanks for the free sandwiches and water, that’s really kind of you. But I’d rather take the money so I can, y’know, buy food for my children for the week, and put petrol in my car so I can get to future gigs…)

But the thing is, I can’t DO future gigs if I’m not getting PAID.

This week, I have LITERALLY. RUN. OUT. OF. MONEY.

My overdrafts are maxed, and I’m now on the credit card which I had been using to raise my credit rating. It had worked…and now it’s tanking again. I bought my family enough food to get to the weekend. I paid for as much fuel as I could, which if I just stick to school runs and don’t go anywhere else, should be enough to last until next week Wednesday. I got a flat tyre yesterday – an ambulance came screaming around the corner and I hit the curb trying to get out of the way. That’s £160 added on to the credit card which I can’t afford to pay back right now. My headphones broke, so the work I could and would (and wanted to) do on computer tro generate some fast money is now limited.

The savings I’d desperately worked on disappear so fast, because I’m either not being paid on time, or I’m not being paid enough.

Truth be told, I’m angry, and I’m tired, and I’m frustrated. I know I’m not perfect, and I know I’ve made mistakes. But jhaysus christie, I ABSOLUTELY lose my SHIT when it affects my family and I can’t provide for them. And then I get pissed at myself, because the first person I blame is myself.

I sent an email stating that the new total is the original invoice plus statutory interest and recovery compensation, and that if the invoice wasn’t paid by Friday (nearly 40 days overdue), I would have defer to Musians’ Union to take further recovery action.

There are many reasons why I’m so angry right now.

I hate that I can’t do a “regular 9-5” and just get paid.

I hate having to throw my weight around when I shouldn’t have to, and barely have the energy to do that in the first place.

I hate that I have never been able to take my boys on holiday. I hate that I have to count every fucking penny before I can buy a bottle of milk. I hate that I actually feel guilty when I spend my money on “something nice”.

And I hate that every single time my email pings right now, my heart-rate goes up because they’ve decided to counter me with additional legal action (even though I know I’m in the right). Or even worse, they tell me I’m a horrible person and then I have stupid-ass shitty RSD to deal with.

Fuck man…I’m tired.

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PS I’ve legit added a “support me!” button to my posts, and will be splashing it EVERYWHERE, in the hope that someone with more money than me decides they’d like to…give me more money. There is zero shame. 🤷🏾‍♀️