A while ago, I wrote about struggling with the concept of the “{{{{{HUG}}}}}” and how much it meant (or um, DIDN’T mean) to me.
I understand the sentiment. I understand the purpose. But that’s where it ends for me.
I’ve become very aware of how much we hide behind our social media outlets, and how we use social media to “connect” with one another. “Oh, are you around? I’ll see you on Facebook, yeah? Or catch you on twitter.” I don’t belittle these outlets because let’s face it. Some of us live so far away from each other, these outlets are almost all we have. Without the likes of Twitter, Google Plus and Skype, I wouldn’t have found two of my best friends in California and in France. Added to that, I’m eternally thankful that I have this means to speak to them, without really speaking to them.
*Insert whinge and whine about time zones right here*
The problem is I crave the 3D people, but I’ve found that I need THE RIGHT 3D people. I’m a physical person, and like most other humans, I react with contact. I can’t see what’s going on with a 2D person, they’re so much harder to read. Sure I can take a text or a tweet or whatever and make of it what I will. I can look at their 2D photo and try to be reassured in knowing who they are. But at that time, with just a bunch of words on a screen in front of me, I actually DON’T know what they’re about, because my connection is reduced.
3D people are real people. I can read them, I can feel them, I can understand them, and so I can connect with them.
Once I leave this house, and find my own place to live, I wonder how well I will cope living in a world of 2D people for a while. I feel like my strength will diminish, and I won’t be very “effective”. Sure we can go out and meet up with friends for a coffee or whatever. But for me it goes beyond that. I need REAL 3D people and/or mushroom power ups, if I am to keep going. I need nuggets of energy to see me through. And I think a lot of other people do, too. Some realise it, some don’t. But I know for a fact that many others feel they have all the connection they need via social media. But like me, like I thought for a while, it’s because that’s the place where we can seemingly get the most interaction.
As I said to one of my friends recently, I’d sooner travel for days for one cuddle, than instantly take 1,000 (((hugs))). I know what’s real, and I know what my power ups are. Those will help me stay strong for now.
I know exactly what you mean, but I am also taken by the concept of the “virtual embrace” http://b4rbuk.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/why-we-nee…
No, John. There is nothing virtual about what I need; nothing virtual at all. I take the virtual because sometimes I feel I have no choice. Yet I would still switch off the virtual in its entirety.
"I’d sooner travel for days for one cuddle, than instantly take 1,000 (((hugs)))"
I trust neither 2D nor 3D people at this point in my life. I've been screwed over by both too many times. For me, physical contact squicks me out. I've had some nasty shit happen to me in that realm and even innocent physical contact upsets me at this point.
My difficulty is that I'm great at giving the 2D stuff, but stick me in a 3D world and I'm a rabbit in the headlights. I can't read people at all. I have to learn them, each of them individually. And that's hard. I know that people on social media don't necessarily tell the truth, but I guess I'll take those connections over nothing. Although yes, real world ones would be better.
You have one up on me as I can't read 2 or 3D people. But yes I definitely need to see people in 3D and get actual hugs, I'm with you there. Actually this post has come at a great time for me because it has reminded me a bit about 2D people (sorry I'm odd and will leave that there lol).
Hope when you move it's not as hard as you anticipate.
Completely with you on this one. It's too easy for people to toss around {{{hugs}}} and not really mean it, just a post on FB to let them others see how kind they are. I've realized that I have a lot of "friends" on FB that never gave me the time of day back in the day, why now?
Give me a real hug any day. Or a pop in for a cuppa, to see how I'm doing (instead of the "we should get together for coffee…"). Sorry to hear you are going through all this shit.
RIGHT, Jenn. "It's too easy for people to toss around {{{hugs}}} and not really mean it" is what bothers me. I don't want the empty, give me something meaningful. Something valuable. I totally agree.
And don't be sad for me, be thankful I'm awake enough to be sensitive to this, and to know to look for something better. 🙂
Interesting post and I suspect voicing what a lot of us "virtual" people feel, at some level, at some point(s). There are great benefits in the growth of social media. Some people find it easier to "connect" virtually (for some physical connection is hard, or an impossibility). And I wouldn't want to "rank" the value of relationships in whatever form they take. However, for me, too, I agree with you, personally, they can't replace the warmth of being with a whole person who "gets" you. And yes it is easier to give a virtual hug without really "giving" (often feel my comments fall limp as while I do care about a 2D person's situation, it feels a bit overstepping the mark to give ((HUGS)) when I don't know them in a 3D sense or can fully "read" their situation (not that yo ever can,but hopefully, you know what I mean). Or maybe that's just me.