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Asshats

Keeping My Mouth Shut. (…pffffft as if…)

January 13, 2014 by cosmicgirlie 7 Comments

Yeah it’s another semi Facebook rant, but it’s also a few words on a small triumph.

My rant begins with the number of people posting the “STOP DOING THESE THINGS ON FACEBOOK” posts. Stop posting about your kids, your food, your bowel movements. Stop bragging with your holiday snaps. Stop remembering people who died a million years ago. Stop this, stop that, stop communicating on a social network platform.

off-is-the-general-direction_large

You know you can shut that shit down, right? Lord knows I’ve done it enough times over the last few weeks. I open Farcebook, looking to see what’s going on with the wedding world, or to see what my awesome mates are getting up to, and come away wondering if I’m actually allowed to post anything on a social platform designed for POSTING AND SHARING. I discovered several wonderful features, maaaaaany months ago. Hide/block/unfriend gets used a lot. As does “do you wish to close this browser?” Why yes, Google Chrome. Yes I fucking do, since everyone is in a shitty mood and I’m supposed to NOT SAY ANYTHING.

But my rant comes, because today I posted this.

Jay_Emme_-_Finally_sorted_out_the_next_step_in_getting_The_Smalls___

I’ve written about my determination to get them into private school many times before.

http://cosmicgirlie.com/2013/03/14/yeah-im-still-a-school-snob/

http://cosmicgirlie.com/2013/06/24/determined-blazing-glory-face/

Now, my friends who give a shit, will know I have been stressed to my goddamn EYEBALLS in the past, trying to sort out good schooling for The Smalls. Their current school is painful. In the last 3 months, I’ve had to rescue Noah’s reading. He’s gone from crying every time I tell him it’s time to read a school book, through to requesting 5 minutes at bedtime to read several chapters of his own books. He despairs with school books. Here at home, we can’t give him enough to read; I’m pre-empting what the hell he could read next. Providing Isaac isn’t in mental crazy-boy mode in the mornings, they both read for 15 minutes when they wake up.

Noah comes home with weekly maths tests, with which he gets no help at school. We, his parents, have no idea of the point of them, what they’re trying to achieve, how we are to help him, IF we are allowed to help him, how often he is to do them…no help. We have no idea. So when Noah came home with the same test again for the umpteenth time because he didn’t get the answers right at school, he was obviously in tears. He’s borderline hating maths. It’s only thanks to twinkl (that site has been a SAVIOUR, that’s for sure) and me saying “fuck it, school, I’m going to teach him MY way”, he has FINALLY clicked how to work through the test with much less help. Was I supposed to help him? Fuck knows. Support from school has been minimal; The Mr and I are still in the dark.

We understand that with the education system the way it is at the mo, you get what you pay for. I know perfectly well that state schools are stretched to stupidly ridiculous levels, and the majority of children are just not getting the full help and care needed. Teachers are being pushed to absolute limits, and many are in the dark on their subjects, as a result. I know; I’ve taught in schools. So, the aim is to send them to private school, to give them the absolute best education we can afford to give them. The schools in our area are not able to give us what we need. I don’t expect my boy to end up in tears every time I ask him to do numeracy or literacy.

 

Fyi, this morning he said to me “You know, Mommy, I feel much better about my numbers now that you’ve helped me. I think it might be a bit easier now.” Geeze. And if I had stepped back because I had assumed I was not allowed to help? What then?

Anyway. I posted that facebook status, because I am really goddamn pleased to feel that I’m doing all I can to help his education. It is a BLOODY BIG THING to me, making sure that they are BOTH educated people when they grow, with a sense of self, good intelligence, and sound knowledge of important subjects. And of course, rightly so, I’m goddamn proud of my children. So why did I feel immediate guilt when I posted it? Why did I feel that I had to justify posting what I posted?

Why did I think to myself, the actual words, “shit, I better clarify that, as I don’t want people to think I’m bragging about getting them into private school. Hell, maybe I should just delete it?”

I really don’t like myself for thinking that. I wanted to share something with my friends, with people who I thought might give a shit, people who might be mildly interested with our progress, people who are family and want to know what’s going on…it’s my Facebook page and it’s how I let people know stuff. People who care.

So I didn’t delete it, and I’m going to keep posting stuff like that. And I’m going to keep posting how proud I am of my boys. I’m going to keep posting birthday messages to them, and a photo, assuming I remember to do so and haven’t forgotten, because sometimes I’m a douche mom but y’know, it happens.

I’m bloody proud of my kiddos, I’m a foodie, I like photos, and I’m a bloody chatty person. Sooooooo I guess people are going to have to exercise that “STFU” button a little more often where I’m concerned. And now the sun is shining which means it’s time to go outside and play with another camera.

 

 

Filed Under: Asshats, Education, Facebook, Isaac, Noah, Parenting Skillz, Rant, Thoughts

OHHHHH, when you said “funny”, you meant “asshole”.

March 6, 2013 by cosmicgirlie 13 Comments

I love Facebook.

Tell a lie, I fucking hate Facebook. *RANT KLAXON*

Actually, truth be told, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

I whizz through my Facebook feed, see what people are doing, weep over beautiful photography, ask myself “what the fuck” over the not so beautiful photography, check out the weird and fucked up shit, and generally ignore the growing unread messages in my spammy crap DM tab. Sometimes I’ll hit “share” on something I think is fucking awesome (or so cool I want to win it). And of course, I’ll try to interact with people via their wall, etc.  Sometimes I’ll tag a client with some useful wedding info. Sometimes I’ll tag a photographer with an awesome link which I know they will appreciate

What I WON’T do, or sure as fuck hope I DON’T do, is be an asshole on someone’s wall.

Annoyingly, it seems to be a trend which is growing really fucking quick.

I’m not sure exactly how I can describe it, but it seems to be things along the following line:

Jay Mountford: I need some help with something urgently, can anyone please offer advice? Please? I’m pretty desperate. :-/
Asshole: Yeah you should totally go watch this youtube video of pointless crap.
Jay Mountford: Er…I’m not sure how that helps?
Asshole: It doesn’t! But FUCK YEAH I’M SO FUNNY!

Yeah good one. Thanks for that. Or how about:

Jay Mountford: Pain. Lots of pain. Determined not to cry. Omg pain. :’o(
Twattard likes this.
Fucktard: Yeah I know what you mean; I missed Jezza Kyle today and I’m HEARTBROKEN.

(I don’t even have a response.) A common one is:

Jay Mountford: Yay! I did something good and for the next 5 mins approx., it’s all about me!
Asshat: Yah my badger died and then I missed the Tesco delivery and I’m pretty sure I have to do the school run and then last week I had to spend 3 hours on the phone telling my sister all about me and my life story from the day I was conceived yah I remember it well because I was there and it’s my child’s birthday tomorrow and I have to make a cake and woe is me God life is so hard for me and I just have no idea how the hell I will survive the trauma of having run out of regular butter since now we might have to have Sainsbury’s Taste The Difference butter which is almost as good as the stuff me and the kids made down at Aunty Tess’ farm last Tuesday right before she ran of with my cousin’s wife’s aunty’s dad’s grandma’s great great great nephew’s third cousin twice removed who omfg is a GAY ALCOHOLIC and now the family is in crisis talks because he slept with a horse which got eaten by the dog.
Jay Mountford: Eh?
Asshat: I know right? My life. MY LIFE.

…WTAF.

What bothers me even more, is when I see these posts on someone else’s wall. Especially if someone is having a genuinely shit day. I’m pretty sure if someone updates with “I’ve just had to have my beloved cat put down, he got mauled to death by a rabid cow. Kitty was only 2 years old. I’m gutted. :’o(” they probably need responses such as “Oh hon I’m sorry. Come round and drink your sorrows away.” And possibly NOT have to read “Yeah my pet turtle just died, he was 163. We are DISTRAUGHT because we just didn’t see it coming.”

Are you shitting me? Are you so damn selfish you can’t see beyond your own crap to spare a thought for someone else’s crap? Fair do, you also have shit. But to lump it, somewhat insensitively, on someone else’s post of grief/sadness/dispair? Are you some kind of freaky bottom feeder, or is your head so far up your own ass, you just have no concept of anything besides steaming piles of shit?

As if dealing with fucktardian (totally a word) behaviour wasn’t enough, there’s the people who post stuff on your wall a trillion times over thinking they’re the most original person alive. Oh my goodness! Look! A piece of bacon! Here, bacon! You never ever saw bacon before, eh? Omg, bacon! On teh internets! Wow!!!1!11!!!1!!!!!

Congratulations, you’ve just lumped yourself in with the 10 people who already posted it, approximately 3 seconds before you did. Sorry? What’s that? You didn’t think to scroll down a bit and see? No. Of course not. And why would you? After all, you are SO ORIGINAL! Well done.

Honestly, I fucking LOVE being tagged in posts which are useful, informative, helpful, original, useful etc. Awesome photographers, latest awesome videos (GOOD ones, none of the bullshit we’ve all seen a frillion times already), off the wall shit like Jim’ll Paint It or The Poke, anything ORIGINAL. Anything where the person posting it has had a split second of thinking outside the box. Because then I know that it’s not the same old sheep stuff I’ve seen before. I appreciate people who can think outside the box. Who can think differently. Who can save themselves from being a sheep. Who take 2 split seconds to think and appreciate, rather than one split second to vomit out crap.

So, much as I love SOCIAL media and those using it, maybe just stop and be more thoughtful/considerate, before you choose the asshole option, eh?

Filed Under: Asshats, Rant

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