Even though I don’t boast, I hate not being the best at something. Which is stupid because I’m not the best at MANY THINGS. Of course.
I’m not the best at MOST THINGS, to be fair.
And yet, my frustration when I see other people achieving so much, and being so fucking ace with it, is quite honestly insurmountable. It’s jealousy, and it’s stupid.
Even worse is sitting here feeling like I’m busting my balls and going nowhere, and whining about why shit doesn’t seem to be happening.
Which is fucking stupid, because, surely I’m making shit happen, right?
IS IT ENOUGH, though?
I guess not.
I blame my history of always training to be the best.
What I SHOULD be doing is stop being a whiny sod and just do something already.
*Stares blankly at self*
I think, a lot of people are exactly the same. BUT they don't even realise that they are. Does that make sense. You are doing something, and going somewhere – how many people know who you are? Admire your photography? Just have to be patient – you are only young once, don't rush it.
Faded Seaside Mama says
I feel this all day every day – I want to be the best – not at everything, just at something. I can do lots, but none of it brilliantly and only some of it well. I would love to find my talent, my unique selling point that makes people talk about me. I think you have yours with your photography. That's what I think of when I think of you. You have the talent to see how a shot's composition will work and the skill to make it happen. Neither is exclusive – one without the other would not make such amazing photography, time after time. Keep striving to be better though. When we become complacent is when we become dull and lose our vision.
You are your own harshest critic and I know that you know that deep down.
I also know that it doesn't matter that anyone else thinks you are talented, amazing and a fucking brilliant friend but I'm never going to stop telling you that. Not ever.
I cannot wait to be inspired by you next week. I love you x
its hard isn't it – to strive to be the best makes you work harder – if no one cared and everyone was happy with where they were, no one would ever start something new.. try somethign different.. get better…. your fab and even if your not the best or even if you are but you don't think you are, then as annoying as it is, its ok to keep on trying…
Oh huni, you are amazingly talented at so many things, photography especially, I don't think there is a "best" when it comes to things like that because it's what each individual likes.
But if it helps I do know how you feel, I feel like I'm treading water, not getting anywhere, it's a sucky feeling and I hope you beat it soon.