OHHHHH, when you said “funny”, you meant “asshole”.

I love Facebook.

Tell a lie, I fucking hate Facebook. *RANT KLAXON*

Actually, truth be told, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

I whizz through my Facebook feed, see what people are doing, weep over beautiful photography, ask myself “what the fuck” over the not so beautiful photography, check out the weird and fucked up shit, and generally ignore the growing unread messages in my spammy crap DM tab. Sometimes I’ll hit “share” on something I think is fucking awesome (or so cool I want to win it). And of course, I’ll try to interact with people via their wall, etc.  Sometimes I’ll tag a client with some useful wedding info. Sometimes I’ll tag a photographer with an awesome link which I know they will appreciate

What I WON’T do, or sure as fuck hope I DON’T do, is be an asshole on someone’s wall.

Annoyingly, it seems to be a trend which is growing really fucking quick.

I’m not sure exactly how I can describe it, but it seems to be things along the following line:

Jay Mountford: I need some help with something urgently, can anyone please offer advice? Please? I’m pretty desperate. :-/
Asshole: Yeah you should totally go watch this youtube video of pointless crap.
Jay Mountford: Er…I’m not sure how that helps?
Asshole: It doesn’t! But FUCK YEAH I’M SO FUNNY!

Yeah good one. Thanks for that. Or how about:

Jay Mountford: Pain. Lots of pain. Determined not to cry. Omg pain. :’o(
Twattard likes this.
Fucktard: Yeah I know what you mean; I missed Jezza Kyle today and I’m HEARTBROKEN.

(I don’t even have a response.) A common one is:

Jay Mountford: Yay! I did something good and for the next 5 mins approx., it’s all about me!
Asshat: Yah my badger died and then I missed the Tesco delivery and I’m pretty sure I have to do the school run and then last week I had to spend 3 hours on the phone telling my sister all about me and my life story from the day I was conceived yah I remember it well because I was there and it’s my child’s birthday tomorrow and I have to make a cake and woe is me God life is so hard for me and I just have no idea how the hell I will survive the trauma of having run out of regular butter since now we might have to have Sainsbury’s Taste The Difference butter which is almost as good as the stuff me and the kids made down at Aunty Tess’ farm last Tuesday right before she ran of with my cousin’s wife’s aunty’s dad’s grandma’s great great great nephew’s third cousin twice removed who omfg is a GAY ALCOHOLIC and now the family is in crisis talks because he slept with a horse which got eaten by the dog.
Jay Mountford: Eh?
Asshat: I know right? My life. MY LIFE.

…WTAF.

What bothers me even more, is when I see these posts on someone else’s wall. Especially if someone is having a genuinely shit day. I’m pretty sure if someone updates with “I’ve just had to have my beloved cat put down, he got mauled to death by a rabid cow. Kitty was only 2 years old. I’m gutted. :’o(” they probably need responses such as “Oh hon I’m sorry. Come round and drink your sorrows away.” And possibly NOT have to read “Yeah my pet turtle just died, he was 163. We are DISTRAUGHT because we just didn’t see it coming.”

Are you shitting me? Are you so damn selfish you can’t see beyond your own crap to spare a thought for someone else’s crap? Fair do, you also have shit. But to lump it, somewhat insensitively, on someone else’s post of grief/sadness/dispair? Are you some kind of freaky bottom feeder, or is your head so far up your own ass, you just have no concept of anything besides steaming piles of shit?

As if dealing with fucktardian (totally a word) behaviour wasn’t enough, there’s the people who post stuff on your wall a trillion times over thinking they’re the most original person alive. Oh my goodness! Look! A piece of bacon! Here, bacon! You never ever saw bacon before, eh? Omg, bacon! On teh internets! Wow!!!1!11!!!1!!!!!

Congratulations, you’ve just lumped yourself in with the 10 people who already posted it, approximately 3 seconds before you did. Sorry? What’s that? You didn’t think to scroll down a bit and see? No. Of course not. And why would you? After all, you are SO ORIGINAL! Well done.

Honestly, I fucking LOVE being tagged in posts which are useful, informative, helpful, original, useful etc. Awesome photographers, latest awesome videos (GOOD ones, none of the bullshit we’ve all seen a frillion times already), off the wall shit like Jim’ll Paint It or The Poke, anything ORIGINAL. Anything where the person posting it has had a split second of thinking outside the box. Because then I know that it’s not the same old sheep stuff I’ve seen before. I appreciate people who can think outside the box. Who can think differently. Who can save themselves from being a sheep. Who take 2 split seconds to think and appreciate, rather than one split second to vomit out crap.

So, much as I love SOCIAL media and those using it, maybe just stop and be more thoughtful/considerate, before you choose the asshole option, eh?